Lawn mower woes.

So I finally got my riding lawn mower working a few weeks ago. I was excited because I finally got the damn thing running and now I can use it to sit my lazy ass on in the dog days of summer. Well scratch that! I'm mowing along and STOP! It is running, the blades are turning, I didn't pop out of gear. All I can figure is that the mower is so old and outdated that the tranny seized up. Well great, so I'll have to push mow it now. So I push the rider UP the alley (of course it dies at the bottom of the hill, that is fate right?) put it back in the yard. Pull out the push mower and it takes forever to start and when it does start it sounds like it barely has any throttle to it. So I'm thinking this isn't the day to mow the lawn. So I check the air filter and it is NASTY, I mean bad nasty. So I couldn't go get a new one because I had drank a beer (yes pick yourselves up, after the rider incident I needed a drink) and our rule is you drink you don't drive, not matter how little. So I decided to clean out the air filter. After washing it out(which wasn't the best idea) I finally got it started again. Sounded about the same but what the hell it was cutting grass. So after dying from the heat I got the lawn done. Got it all put away and then remembered I forgot to weed eat! F it, it will wait!